Hey Babyy !

0042 hours : August 27, 2007

This Sunday was not a typical one. Can't remember the last time I woke up as early as 7 am on a Sunday ! But then, this is probably going to be the norm now.. no more dozing till late as GD is going to be a regular weekly affair hereafter. As I am currently not overflowing with a dozen or so interesting topics, lets start with a dissection of my first 'GD training class'. The teacher, a 'smarty' who did his MBA from XIM-Bhubaneswar, now working in a financial firm was unable to make a healthy impression on me and most of my fellow batch-mates. He was definitely smart, confident, probably also knew a lot about GD's, but that in no way justifies his ridiculing of certain students, apart from trying to act as 'Mr. Know-it-All' about engineers. Some students were a part of the mock-GD which didn't even remotely qualify as a discussion. It was more of a series of verbal blasts of oddly-framed, mostly irrelevant sentences, often phrases directed at each other with tons of aggression thrown in. The instructor's not to be blamed in this case, he wanted to show what possibly can go wrong in such situations. His critical analysis of the situation started out on a good note, but was left without a proper conclusion, which again didn't seem OK with me. Finally, by the time I was on the way back, I had made up my mind to focus on how can I extract the best out of this resource available at my disposal. He definitely had certain desirable qualities and attributes. The onus is on us to derive the maximum benefit out of him.

The later part of the day was spent in an equally disappointing venture – `Hey Babyy`. Grossly below expectations. I hardly criticize a flick this harshly, but this one deserves worst. Ignoring the fact that I have a personal dislike for Sajid Khan, I find the direction absolutely direction-less. The star cast, especially Ritesh Deshmukh and Vidya Balan must have been out of their minds to have signed to a script which is so pathetically predictable. I haven't mentioned Akshay Kumar because he is an established actor and one mistake won't cost him much. Fardeen Khan never seemed of any use to me in the celluloid frame, so I am excluding him from the list too. Even if the story and script were given even a fraction of attention that the title track was given, Akshay could have managed the rest of the show. Typical cliché bollywood dialogues, predictable storyline, hapless repetitive comedy – I don't remember the last time I made such a bad investment ! 'Aap Ka Suroor' was a lot better compared to this shit which is supposed to be a rib-tickling entertainer. If this is all left of originality left in the industry, I would prefer lift-offs from other cinemas worldwide.

Two things that went right today was the Lassi we had at Ligaraj, Shahidnagar and the 'methi ke parathe' at the mess.

“Good food is the best anti-depressant and stress buster” - Anand Biswas

Unperturbed, Undisturbed...

Situations often arise, where you have to wrap yourself, your feelings, emotions and thoughts within yourself. What might seem right to few, may start to seem right to a larger mass after slight persuasion. Pride is one such avenue. It is a weapon used by people to justify their mindless acts. I'm not stating that pride is not important. It undoubtedly is.. again thats what makes it dangerous. History has been witness to ruthless acts of torture in the name of pride, but the actual message that was being spread was that of hatred. The only reason these schools of thought became popular was 'pride' - the pride of the masses was used to motivate them to support inhuman and brutal tasks which bore repercussions on world history till date. Something akin is going on in the environment around me. A foolish and unjustifiable act of violence is being justified by stating issues of pride. Agreed, there might be some reasons which enticed these people to resort to thrashing up someone. Maybe because I wasn't at the site, I couldn't see for myself the damage caused to 'our pride', maybe I would also get annoyed at the action which infuriated some of my friends, but at this crucial juncture of my career, it would be absolutely illogical and mindless to even support, forget being a part of such action. Some times when you realize that being altruistic is no more feasible, then one has no other option but to be egoistical. At this crucial point of life, when your slightest action of ignorance could be a cause of regret for the rest of your life, I'm in no mind to let 'pride' take over 'prudence', to let 'emotion' take over 'logic', to let 'adrenaline' take over 'gray cells'. Somebody might call me a coward, but to me it hardly matters. I'm wrapped up in a protective mental cocoon which makes it next to impossible for these petty things to manipulate my internal feelings, thoughts and their resulting actions. Because all said and done, I am going to be the only person responsible for my actions and their consequences.

I've decided to walk a path, now I'm going to walk it undisturbed, unperturbed...

Stretching my limits or .. stressing myself ??

Thankfully, I was able to open the site today and was able to post something ! I've written already numerous times about the connectivity here and thereby elaborating any further will start getting repetitive. Meanwhile, a lot has been happening in my life, from joining TIME (yes, thats where I finally decided to invest my time and money after a lot of thought) for morning classes thrice a week, and pre-placement training going on twice a week in the evenings, apart from regular college of course...life is not the same anymore. Accomodating so much in so less has certain consequences. I've started to feel that I've become much more robotic, methodical and predictable. Though I know that I cannot allow excessive freedom of thought to slow me down, somewhere deep down me, I am not in favour of this change. There still might be time to eat, sleep and go out a little, but there is hardly anytime I spend with myself, collecting and analyzing my thoughts, trying to guess in which direction I am heading. These are situations when the feeling grips me that "I hope I am not trying to hold on to everything and finally going to get nothing". I'm not being pessimistic, I'm just trying to be realistic ! Anyways, thoughts are free to have their way, but not me. I have certain commitments to myself that I cannot forego.

One often comes face to face with situations when he knows he is capable of something, but he has to prove himself to everyone concerned. I totally agree with the notion that if one thinks that 'the world is not ready' for him, its actually the other way round. So, there is a definite necessity of proving onself and it is this notion that is driving me nowadays. Unless there is a unique and distinguishing platform that one can establish himself, he is just another one of the masses. All his capabilities, qualities, attributes , everything is 'normal' - becomes 'expected'. But once there is a distinguishing factor, then even his smallest action, however insignificant it might be, evokes interest in others. This is the attitudinal change success brings with itself, the values you were ridiculed for, suddenly seem to have become virtues one can strive to achieve. My robotic, methodical life may seem frustrating for now, but it is in search of that 'distinguishing factor' that I'm ready to trade a fraction of my thoughts for, attaining which seems to be the only thing that matters. As a popular Linkin' Park song puts it "In the End, it doesnt's even matter. I tried to hard and got so far, but in the end.. it doesn't even matter" - there are no consolation prizes in life and even if there are, I have my mind on something else

I ' m b a c k ! ! !

Its nice to have come back after a long break. Almost a fortnight. This time I do happen to have a valid and legitimate reason - Linux Project Submission ! Remember about the project that I had mentioned in one of my previous blogs ? Well, its better if you don't and I wouldn't take the pain and nor would you be least interested in it. The thing worth mentioning is that the project was finally completed, and the final product was satisfactory and up to my expectations. Will have to put in some more effort for the presentation that is to follow the project submission. But, things would be sorted out only as the time to sort them out comes.

The other things I have been doing in this while is going to class, trying to listen - quite an appreciative attempt I must say.. Also been to King Khan's "Chak De India !". The flick was refreshing and made us believe that the money spent was worthwhile. SRK - fitter and dynamic as ever, leading a pack of spirited girls towards victory encountering many barriers - mainly of the mind. The movie not only depicts the standard sportmanship qualities as is expected of such flicks, but also showcases the pitiful state of affairs of sports and games in the country other than cricket. The cinematography was par excellence and the matches showed in the movie seemed very much real. Inexperienced actors cast as hockey players added the required 'realism'.

Also had a scholarship test for an 'yum-bee-eh' preparatory institute. Was fine by my standards, but my friends seemed to have "co-operated" better in the examination hall. Anyways, the outcome wouldn't hopefully be so bad. The weather is gloomy and cloudy - just as I like it the most. A beautiful day according to me. Nothing more substantial to write for now. But, this space would surely be updated more frequently again...

Sayo nara !

Will I.... , Can I ... ??

Sometimes some small incidents, events or happenings force me to doubt my assessment, my evaluation of myself, of my capabilities, my potential and most disturbingly, my chances of survival in this rat race. The pessimist in me which I try to keep subdued all the while seems to have come back with greater determination with the sole intention of controlling my thoughts, increasing my inhibitions and limiting my ambitions. He keeps reminding me of my shortcomings and ridicules the things I otherwise used to consider as plus points and advantages. Its easy to argue with an enemy by reason and logic. But what if the enemy is inside you? Whom are you actually fighting ? The enemy ? Or yourself ? I know this tone might seem reminiscent of the myriad superhero flicks that have capitalized on the tried-and-tested formula of the hero fighting the evil within him, but the reality is there exists somewhere within me, as might in many of you, a pessimist, a loser, a coward, a hidden side of me which I would always like to keep hidden. But unfortunately it does not have ego issues, so notwithstanding the innumerable times I get rid of him, he manages to stage some sort of a comeback. But, I am sure the optimist in me is stronger and would soon get the better of him. But the question is for how long? Well, I guess this question is also a result of the pessimistic personality dominating my mind at this point of time.. Gosh ! This is starting to get freaky !

Meanwhile, I came across an article in the papers(“TOI” to be more specific) about the advances in the field of identifying and separating genes. Going by the attitude of the current researchers, there would soon be a time where all the genetic codes that have been 'gifted' to us by our ancestors might be demystified. Such advances seem of particular interest to me as I would be more than eager to 'correct' my forefathers' “height” gene – which has been and will continue to be one of the areas I find myself in a huge inferiority complex. Those of you who are well endowed in this dimension would never feel what it feels like to be the shortest of the pack. The world laughs at you, ridicules you and when it doesn't, you feel its waiting for the next opportunity to do so, or worst, they've started to pity you. Its short of what I would call a curse. I've always believed that with longer limbs, I would have been a better athlete, had better chances in my swimming career, been a talk among the girls and what not. The list of regrets is endless, but I am helpless. I'm sure my father and my brother would have faced such situations and I definitely wish my next generation doesn't carry on the curse. Coming out of the personal angle, many people have some even more 'undesirable' qualities in their genes and would definitely be interested in 'rectifying' themselves for the benefit of their future generations. It would mean that anyone with the available resources would be able to create a perfect new generation ! The consequences of which are too complex to comprehend. It would be like choosing your next PC – get the features you want if you can cough up the money. Can these so claimed perfect humans then achieve a state of happiness ? I guess, as a Will Smith flick rightly emphasizes, “Its the pursuit which makes the happiness worthwhile”. If you get it without asking, you start taking it for granted. Moreover, the real problem would arise when these set of 'perfect' individuals compete with themselves. The outcome doesn't seem so encouraging. Differences, arguments will continue as there is no “gene” for ideals !

Gracias amigos ! Hope this hobby will help me to learn more about myself It has already started to..

The Unemployment Continues ...

Classes haven't started in full swing, nor have we got the books for this semester and neither have the mood to watch movies.. not to mention that we have left gaming long long ago – that leaves us, especially me with little options for whiling away my time! Also, I feel quite sleepy in the evenings to go through the ordeal of improving my vocabulary. Not to mention the hopeless speed we are victims to in the name of 'Wi-Fi'.. Even a simple and no-extra frills site like blogger.com tests the virtues of patience and persistence ! And its best if one doesn't keep his hopes of 'orkutting' alive.. few brave souls(count me in) have the courage to tunnel through the blocks imposed by the “@#$%*!” management. Orkutting here in this hostel requires the patience of a spider, which weaves its web and waits for the prey all-day long.. analogous to that we here have to wait for those wee hours of morning or the dark hours of midnight when the traffic is low and then finally we can proceed to make our kill. Not to mention the R&D(Research & Development) thats involved in this addictive passion, which involves being aware of the latest techniques, tips and tricks to pass through the blocks by the management, but also testing their effectiveness and efficiency in theses hostile conditions. Doesn't it seem that mere surfing could also be an adventure ? Wish I had a better figment of imagination.. pity you guys for reading this crap and expecting something interesting out of it ! Some suggestions would definitely be welcome..

Meanwhile, I'm currently in a dilemma regarding which of the management preparatory institutes would be most apt for me. One presents an overall attractive package, another claims its USP(Unique Selling Proposition.. for those who are blissfully ignorant) is that it can afford special attention to each of its students as they have lesser no. of students per batch. The third boasts of a national reputation and a weekly test culture of good credibility. Right now, at this moment my mind is pointing to the third option, but its not final yet. One thing is assuring, none of my decisions is going to be very right and neither can prove to be very wrong.

Been witness to another blatant lift-off by b'wood – Partner. An out and out copy of the Will Smith starer, The Hitch – duly Indianized with spoofs of other films, lots of comedy, a stupidly placed supersonic missile supposedly designed by a 8-9 year old kid and the inevitable b'wood trademark – song & dance. Nevertheless, putting the copyright issues apart the flick was entertaining – thanks to David Dhawan who knows how to tickle the funny bones of the Indian masses. Govinda was a treat to watch after a long time. Rajpal Yadav's comic timing demands special mention. Lara Dutta's new hair-do is refreshing. Katrina, needless to say is stunning as ever. Salman fits in fine with his part.

The 13^th Indian President, the first female ever to be appointed to the highest office in the country, has vowed to take steps against the rampant female infanticide prevalent in many parts of the country. The skewed sex ratio of 927 females to 1000 males is abysmally low compared to the world average of 1050 females per 1000 males. Meanwhile, another survey study pegs India at near to the bottom of the world's alcohol consumers. Is that a thing to rejoice or be ashamed of ? I am not sure what the tone of the report indicated. The writer seemed a little distressed perhaps at the feeling that his country is placed 150^th in terms of per capita liquor consumption. I am least bothered anyway...

Signing off for now... Gracias Amigos !

Unemployed , Restless , Directionless !

Well my situation, if evaluated properly would not exactly qualify to any of the words I've used in the title, but its one of those moments of the day when you feel that there is hardly anything that is going to interest you at this point of time and you wish to enjoy your 'solitude'.. but alas, that's even less engaging and soon you end up getting fed up with yourself !

That was yesterday, evening to be exact.. the day was perfectly normal, nothing out of the ordinary - started with 3 hours of worthless Microprocessor Lab, where my cell with a 2 MP camera turned out to be very useful as I could effortlessly take the photographs of the circuits and draw them later. These are moments when you really feel that "technology rocks". Well, apart from that we had absolutely nothing to do in the lab. except staring at the 8085 Microprocessor Trainer Kit and supposedly "familiarizing" with it, the rest of all the 3 hrs was spent in unimportant banter with my lab partner.

As I've already expressed that I was feeling strange in the evening and continued to do so till dinner. After that went to the terrace with two people who were equally unemployed like me and felt better to be talking and laughing. A point that I've been noticing from the time I've started my hostel life (i.e. 2 years), I've discovered the fact that 'bitching' isn't solely a girly thing to do ! In fact, in my opinion boys also talk a lot about others and have fun with some of their selected peers, maybe not to the extent that girls do, but I think they are equally interested in sharing their view points(especially the laughable traits) about their friends, neighbours, etc. and enjoying it. I feel, 'bitching' is a sexist term, there should be something that is equally applicable to boys !


Alright, enough of philology and semanticism, I'm calling quits for the day. Need to pay my college fees and do the registration business, then have plans of going for a movie and also enquiring about the details of the MBA preparatory course I intend to enroll in.

Gracias amigos ! Take care and keep watching this space... Encourage me with some comments !